While shamefully cleaning up the mess, the smell triggered my gag reflexes and made me puke. I was on top and felt a pain in my stomach. After I finished scatter-plotting the toilet bowl, I looked down (as one does) and saw only red. So we hop in the car grab a bite to eat (Panera, I think). (I “ate” TPN at night thru a PICC line). I was on lunch with my wife and on my way back to my office. Praise the lord. My run turned into a walk. I suddenly felt my stomach drop into my asshole. I was struggling getting to the solid food stage of the recovery. I felt woozy and stumbled backward to the toilet.

It did not help his legal situation. At this point I finally felt somewhat better, and began to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, and each laugh would come with a fart/poop which only made me laugh harder. I’m not sure if that knocked me out, but I got up really fuzzy and woozy seconds (minutes?) I was maybe 10 minutes away when it hit me, and I wasn’t sure if I’d make it, but it was 4 am so no other places on the way were open. Oreo released a limited-edition Peeps-flavored cookie, and the bright pink marshmallow filling came out the same color as it went in. I go out to the porch and she is freaking out. Har har! So I stopped at a gas station to fuel up, drawers droopin’, and I saw my friend Khushbu for the first time in years.

I had a sh*tload (heh) of plastic bags in my suitcase from packing and I put them over my hand and grabbed my poop out of the toilet and tied it up and hid it until my suitcase until I got a chance to throw it out outside when he wasn’t looking! Mashable, Inc. All Rights Reserved. The feeling of my own shit in my hand still haunts me. Long story short: they had to drain the hotel pool because of me.

My horror story happened a few years ago. My boyfriend and I were doing a popular workout DVD. And I feel so embarrassed for throwing up. My husband and I were on our honeymoon in Iceland in December. I kept everything above the waist, for fear of losing control over my intestinal muscles. Unfortunately, they both developed a sudden case of temporary, traumatic, amnesia, and didn’t seem to know who I was. My supervisor asked about my bag and stuff at my pod. That damned thing immediately bobbed right to the surface—I felt it as it grazed my back on the way up. By this point, the whole building smelled like shit and people were actively discussing it in the halls. Mushy, watery shit like I had bathed in a frekin mud bath!! I don’t know why, but this poop freaked me out, so I later went back into the stall and tried to fish out my floating poop and stuff it in the trash. As someone who has been on opiates for a time in the past, I can tell you that any opiate taker will have some absolutely horrifying poop stories. I was wearing stockings so it was smushed everywhere. I spent the week before taking care of my flu-infested boyfriend, but I showed no symptoms. Ha. SEE ALSO: Suspect shuts down detective's interview with parade of violent farts. Obviously, port-o-johns servicing the entirety of the drunkest block party in the world were less than stellar, and smelled and looked on the inside like they had been rolled down a hill. I was cracking up. She asked, “Right now?” I urgently said yes. Reporting on what you care about. We were driving back from dinner, and I felt my stomach cramp up. I proceeded to vomit the whole car ride home, out the window and onto peoples' lawns. Little does he know, that wasn't a puke stain. Finally the curtains closed. We were in an American Eagle and my stomach proceeded to hurt in the most excruciating pain I had ever felt. We threw out my contaminated clothes, and they gave me two hospital gowns to cover up. He slows the car down to let me out just as the smell hits him. Because the toilet was smaller, I was literally filling the whole bowl up. California residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. Cleaning that up was not fun. The toilet almost caught fire from my explosive ass. It was awful. The only thing I could think of to say was “Just makin’ a quick detour!” Stupid!

You really just threw up?!

After doing that a couple times I was finished.

It was a disaster. I cleaned up as best I could, but my shoes and cuffs of my pants looked like I’d just spent an hour touring the kill floor of a meat packing plant. That seems like a lot. He was on his back, and Denise was sitting on his face, so I started working from his balls, to his taint, to his backdoor. He slowly drove by me, laughing. I could feel my skirt and underwear barely holding the mess.

I was at an all-girl's camp, and of course we had a hot male leader. Upon inspection, the entire inside of the toilet bowl was coated black like someone tagged it with spray-paint. We were running laps around the field, and I had to poop. Unfortunately, due to issues with the contractors that staffed the chow halls in Iraq (go fuck yourself Haliburton!) I pulled off on the bank, ripped my shorts down, and let it all go. I needed to escape, so in my poop-induced panic I gave him a hand job as a distraction and then left. OHHH boy I have a good story for this. No. So, I did the only logical thing I could do: dropped my shorts and pushed that log out underwater. What came out made me turn white - it was one large blood clot. Look, everybody poops. I decided to take a nice bath. As they are telling me what happened, I feel the cramping start and ground hogs day begin (you know the will it come out or not). I was five years old while on a family vacation, and my sister and I decided to go swimming. No matter how hard I pushed, this little poop nugget just wouldn't come out. I hurried to the wall and tried to pull myself out of the water as carefully and quickly as possible. The water went away but that asshole of a toilet just let the shit sit there. Another car … Diarrhea Stories Refine by tag: diarrhea poop pee fart vomit toilet omorashi sickfic puke diarrhoea pooping peeing funny poo piss sick diaper accident bathroom abdl So I kept flushing and it finally unclogged but it started to overflow. Later on I went into the corner of the cafeteria to fart, only it wasn't a fart. It took 10 minutes to get myself together until I could untie him. My now-naked body ran from the stall to the sink for a handful of soap. Period. Deli meat 4 days old? My mom hadn’t wiped my ass since I was a baby. I was cumming and naturally all of my muscles were very relaxed, when I suddenly smelled something bad. As I was doing crunches… I shit my pants in front of my crush and I was mortified,to say the least. Just liquid shit. I figured I just needed to change positions, so I got off. My roommate ate a whole pack of oreo Peeps and left a pink stain in the toilet. So every time the nurses lowered the back of the bed to clean me up down below, all of the blood drained from my stomach and into my lungs (due to the intubation). Why, just this last Monday, I went a-poopin' in my pants (by accident, naturally). He suggested I sleep over, which I unwisely agreed to. The moral of this story is if you want to cure yourself of a stomach virus, get blackout drunk and eat 20 pieces of CiCi’s pizza. When I got into the bathroom I realized I was still in full zombie makeup and probably almost gave the old man a heart attack. As I was helping pack up the tent, a wave of nausea hit me, and I vomited in front of the entire camp, which would have been bad enough, except for poop was actively shooting out my butt at the same time.

Last month I was outside with my dog while he went to the bathroom.

I'm a smaller-than- average spleen but I try hard anyway.

Oh shit. We couldn’t stop laughing. So multiply that by four and then halve as I figure I puked as equally as I blooped. Just bought it, not expired for a month but it smells weird anyway? (Heck, deli meat in general is just gross.) My wife after realizing what’s happening keeps reminding me that we are at least 30 minutes from the hotel and that we should just try and find someplace to stop – let me remind you we are in a remote part of a desert island in the goddamn Caribbean, there aren’t any 7/11s around this place. I’m swimming and having a generally great time, as young kids in pools tend to do. I frantically called him to let me in, but he was too slow. I moved as quickly as my clenched ass would take me, but there was nothing that could stop the watery mess that was exploding from my asshole. I did not heed this warning.

The house we rented while I was doing my masters was constantly being shown because the doofus 22 yr old who owned wanted to “flip” it.

My husband and I got married in Vegas. The nervousness is causing my poop pressure to worsen. My stomach hurt, but every time I farted I felt a bit better. If you look at most airplane toilets, there's a graphic telling you to close the lid prior to flushing. I still can't believe I said pizza."

So we go to my office where I finish what I started in my pants. I had the urge to go NOW. Slm - Hey, a funny story is a funny story. He started puking all down my back, and it ran into my hair, eyes, his bed, and the floor. So. In January, pharma bro Martin Shkreli was set to speak at UC Davis when a protester reportedly through poop at him while yelling "piece of shit." I said I didn't get to finish and got her to give me a head job in the shower. I told him I’d get it tomorrow. As I went to town, he suddenly sharted in my mouth.

I waddled by several clothing stores around me in hopes of buying fresh underwear, but none of them were open yet. Back to top #5 Prolific Member. My ass literally broke an Egyptian national monument. She knows. These trips were the best because a) I got paid double time for being in an active war zone and b) the chow hall on the Air Force base I would visit was exponentially better than the shithole we ate at in Qatar (Thanks Haliburton!). Two hours later, after we finished our tour and walked by the lobby, I saw a "closed for maintenance" sign on the toilet I used. In September, the world was shocked to learn of the Mad Pooper of Colorado Springs. That's right, someone was pooping (or putting their poo) inside washing machines, soiling freshly washed clothing with excrement. He came over, and things started to get hot. I would love to eat off the floor. We get out and start walking and I finally fess to it and just have to do something about it. Ended up dating the guy for three years. I left the stall, gave my ass a quick rinse-off in the sink, tossed the underwear and walked out.

(Heck, deli meat in general is just gross.) I didn't write these.

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